I Almost Quit

It’s the first day of school and I have no idea what I’m doing. Luckily I have a sidekick with me. Her name is Ashley and although I only met her two days ago, I have a feeling she’ll be my saving grace here in Guatemala. Having spent a good amount of time in Guate over the past couple of years, culture shock wasn’t something I expected to deal with. Today, though, the differences between the world I lived in for 23 years and the place I now call home are hitting me like a ton of bricks. Our journey to school had been an adventure in and of itself. 6am on a Blue Bird School Bus refurbished with bright paint colors and a speaker system blasting Daddy Yankee was one way to make sure I was awake for the day. Hanging out of the door with the chauffeur who’s yelling “Antigua! Antigua! Dale! Dale-ale-ale!” I can see a sign written in English above the driver: “Maximum Occupancy – 55. Stay behind the yellow line.” And I laugh to myself because where North America says 55 is capacity, Guatemala says “Move over!” Because we can fit AT LEAST 60 more. 45 minutes and two buses later we’re in a town called Jocotenango. Today Ashley is introducing me as a new teacher and giving a values lesson in a private school called SEL. The kids here are 13-20 years old. They interact with Ashley play a couple games and have a lesson on the honesty. We take two more Chicken Buses and get off at a public school called INVAL. I learn that INVAL is the name of the high school and I will be teaching at “INEBE” the middle school. I notice the differences between the previous school and this one almost immediately. As we walk up the stairs it opens to a large concrete space where students are playing soccer. The classrooms are huge, white, and completely trashed. Desks are overturned and there’s trash all over the floor. The only light is coming from a wall of windows, many of which are broken. The others have been drawn on with paint and sharpies. When the kids finally make their way to the classroom, it’s 1:30 and class should have started thirty minutes ago. There’s about 35 students in one class. Ashley does the best she can to control the chaos and give her lesson. The kids here range in ages from 12 to 20 years old and they are extremely closed off. I can tell this is not going to be easy. I can tell that the students don’t like the idea of this random gringa coming into their classroom to teach them a language they don’t want to learn.

Days and weeks went by and my goodness were those days were HARD. I can tell you that I almost quit. I asked God to step in – to please give me something, anything, to work with. I asked Him to please do something. While I waited for that, I decided to show the kids that I was not going anywhere and as much as they pushed me away, I would push harder to get in. I think one day they just realized I wasn’t going anywhere. It took a good amount of time, but the difference in my kids from that first day to the last day of school has me in tears every time I think about it. The kids that used to have the worst behavior are the ones who run up to me when they see me yelling “Seño! Quiero dulces, seño!” / “Miss, I want candies, Miss!” Because I may have used candy to get them to like me... (Hey, nobody ever said we couldn’t bribe them!) I’ve seen the kids who for the most part don’t care about their grades turn into kids who do care. They chant “Que Canta! Que Canta!” when they want me to sing for them and I have to oblige. Our rocky beginning ended with me asking to continue at the same schools with the same kids next year, not knowing that the kids had also asked the principal for me to continue working with them next year. They are respectful and kind. They ask questions about schoolwork, but also life. We get to talk about English, but we also get to talk about life and have real and raw conversations.

An estimated 75% of Guatemala’s population lives below the poverty line. Good father figures are slim to none. Alcoholism runs almost as rampant as poverty runs wide. Most of the kids I have in my classrooms are broken. Many of them feel unloved, unhappy, and insignificant. These are the kids who at 19 and 20 years old are still in sixth grade. Some are here because they’re lazy. Others are here because they worked at 7 and 8 years old to put food on their tables. Many of them work in the mornings and come to school in the afternoon to pay for their education. Many of the girls have been sexually abused and assaulted and were at a very young age. These are the kids who get drunk in school bathrooms, but whose mothers are too far gone to care when the principal knocks on their front door. These are the kids whose previous teachers have quit and said “I don’t want to deal with them anymore.” These are not all the kids. There are kids that have good lives. Most don’t care to learn English.

“Why in the world are you doing this?” If that is the question running through your mind right now, don’t worry. It’s a fair question. Why in the world would I move to a foreign country to teach English to a bunch of punk kids who don’t care to learn a new language? It’s a question I asked myself and The Lord. And His response to me and my response to you is: Oh, this is so much bigger than that. This is about relationships. Healthy, God-centered relationships. They might be a bunch of punk kids, but they’re MY bunch of punk kids. This is about them having a safe place and someone constantly telling them how loved and valued they are. This is about this generation knowing their worth. This is about them having an hour each week where they are filled up. This is about them having someone on their side. This is about them seeing Jesus.

And this is the reason I do this. This is why I left my home and moved to a new one. And no, it’s not always safe. No, I don’t really get to stay out after dark. No, I can’t touch my showerhead because it’s heated with live wires. Yes, there are spiders the size of my head. Yes, it’s hard. But I believe in what God is doing here.

And I must ask - If this has moved you in any way… if you also believe in the work God is doing in the next generation of Guatemala would you prayerfully consider supporting me? One time donations. Monthly donations. $5,$500, or $5000. Anything and everything is so needed and appreciated. All donations are tax deductible with this link: https://app.etapestry.com/onlineforms/MissionImpact/Ellen_Reyna.html 

If you cannot partner with me financially (and even if you can), would you please partner by prayer? Thank you for taking the time out of your day to learn about this country and people I have fallen in love with and the work that The Lord is doing. I am so thankful for you!

Bendiciones, bendiciones, y mas bendiciones -Ellen