Sometimes
I feel restless. Anxious. Aching to be a place 1,500 miles away.
Restless.
Not
because I'm bored or because I'm unhappy with the place I'm in, but restless
because I fell in love with a place and a people I met in another world. And
when I left, I left parts of myself with them... I left parts of myself in a
place where suffering runs rampant, but hope for a better day has yet to fade.
The
tension I feel as I go about my life here, wondering, and praying for my
friends, can be a little overwhelming at times...
It keeps me up at night.
And
sometimes I seem like a mess to other people when I can't explain 'what's
wrong'. But I wouldn't change it for the
world.
Because
the days I spent there...
The
days I spent covered in dirt, surrounded by the laughter of kids whom I had met
just that day...
The
days I spent sitting in the middle of houses put together by pieces of
garbage...
The
time I spent bawling my eyes out cuddling a five year old boy with Cerebral
Palsy and coloring with an 18 year old boy struggling with the same...
Those days changed my life.
And
as I sit here, plagued with emotions that I sometimes I feel I can't handle- praying,
wishing, and hoping for my friends and for the day that my feet are back on that soil… I’m fully
aware of a God who is Sovereign. I believe in a God who acts on our behalf even
when we are not aware of it. I believe in a God who speaks in quiet whispers,
gently reminding me of His goodness.
